Monday, March 31, 2008

Luke

I have become quite enthralled in Jenni's at One Things birth story's so I have decided to write mine.  
It all started in 2000 with 2 years of infertility under us.  We tried to get pregnant with Luke for about a year without ever going to the doctor and after my best friend Susan got pregnant, I started to worry.  I was at the hospital when Susan gave birth to her first daughter and got to meet a new doctor named Dr. Wentworth, he was really young and almost Doogie Houser'ish.
I found out that Dr. Wentworth was an infertility specialist at the practice and I felt like I had hit the jack pot.  I started to see him in August of 2000.  We did lots of tests and found out that I had  PCOS or poly cystic ovarian syndrome, sounds bad doesn't it?  Well it is... Long story short we took temperatures, didn't work, we made charts, didn't work, and then we took clomid it did the trick!  I found out on December 29th that I was pregnant!
I can remember everything, we had traveled home for Christmas and were at my brother and sister in laws house, they had one child at the time my nephew, Ryley.  Ryley was just a little over 10 months.  I had just pee peed on a stick and my husband came into the bathroom with Ryley on his hip while we watched the line lightly creep up!  I was so happy I jumped up and down and cried and kissed that sweet little babies fat cheeks, he clapped his hands not quite understanding why we were so happy but feeling a celebration was in order he just clapped.  I took Ryley into my arms and just hugged and hugged him, thinking I get to be a mommy, too!
I am an only child so this was really big for my whole family, I gave my mother a jewelry box with our pregnancy test in it and we cried together knowing all our dreams were coming true.
I wish I could lie and say it was an easy pregnancy, it was not.  I was riddled with complete fear from that day until the day I held him in my arms.  Every morbid fear a pregnant woman could and shouldn't have I had.  I guess it didn't help that at our first appointment our Doctor whom I really do love and forgive for being brutally honest with me, told us that 50-90% of PCOS patients have multiple miscarriages and that at 4 weeks I had a long road ahead of me and need to keep an open mind and be very happy that now we know I could get pregnant.  This was far from good news to me.  I didn't just want to get pregnant I wanted to be a mommy.  I remember rebuking everything he had said and praying constantly reminding God daily that he says he will give us our hearts desires.  Poor Daddy didn't know how to handle pregnancy hormones.  He was so nervous to "be with me, in a marital way" it was hard on both of us.  I think that sweet Doctor was again to blame at one of our exams he told my husband the baby is right here, totally freaking Daddy out!
Being so scared of losing my baby I read everything I could get my hands on, I read articles that said I shouldn't lift anything over 15 pounds so I didn't lift anything over 5.  I read that the chemicals in nail polish could harm my baby so I didn't paint my nails.  I read that herbal tea might be bad for you so I confined myself to clear liquids just in case.  I read that it was important to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day so I drank at least 14 glasses of water a day to help my amniotic fluids in turn I spent most of my pregnancy in the bathroom.
At 20 weeks we went for our ultrasound.  I had spent the last 2 years of my life praying for Luke to be Luke, I prayed for him each and everyday by name, begging and pleading with God to give me a son.  So I was real sure he was a he!  When the ultrasound tech said "It's a Boy"  Daddy jumped up and down throwing his fist in the air and saying YES, YES, YES.  You would have thought the Cowboys just won the Superbowl!  I later asked what would you have done if it was a girl and he said Oh I would have been happy.  After that performance I don't think I believed him!
At 26 weeks I found out that I was gestational diabetic.  Again I received way to much information, resulting in horrible fears.  I can remember going into his nursery and rocking in his rocking chair in the middle of the night, holding a baby blanket that was mine as a baby and just pouring my soul out to the Lord, begging again for him to give us this baby, allow him to be healthy, let me be a Mother... This took place often over the weeks to come.  I went to the Diabetic institute and found some relief, I had to take my blood sugars 6 times a day and follow a very strict diet.  I found this to be very easy.  The hardest part was following a strict time for eating, see you can't miss a meal and you have to eat at the same time every day every time.
I worked part time as the assistant to the owner of a travel agency until June.  In the first week of June we had Daddy's little sister Regan come and visit us for 10 weeks.  She was 12 at the time, we had always had Regan come and visit us in the summer so this was no different.  We spent the summer laying in a blow up pool trying to beat the heat, we would fill and let water out and fill with cold water all day long.  I was almost black by the time she went home.  It was wonderful having her with us she brushed my hair daily and (I had told the doctor about the no nail painting thing and he laughed and told me paint away)Regan painted my toes, that sweet girl even helped me shave my legs. She helped me keep a schedule of eating times and was a lot of company in those last few long weeks, with Daddy traveling for his job as a computer project coordinator, he was gone 4 or 5 days a week and don't think I could have standed being alone.  About two weeks before Regan went home Daddy started a project at a Lowes just 5 miles from home and we had a normal 8-4 work schedule.  
Regan went home one week and my brother in-law Zack and Sister in-law Jess and Ryley and my mother in-law, came the next for a 5 day visit.  We had a nice time going to the beach and relaxing until Friday it was August the 17th.  My blood sugar was acting up and my back hurt.  The whole family went to the beach and I stayed home and rested.   I really was feeling better so the next night we went out to eat at a fresh seafood restaurant.  I will never forget when we got home and I got out of the car, SIL Jess looked at me and said Whats Wrong???  I said my stomach is so hard!  It just keeps knotting up like.  She said that's contractions!  It was time for me to take my blood sugar and it was a little high so I had to walk, when you are diabetic a few things help your blood sugar come down lots of water and a brisk walk, a few things can start labor and a brisk walk is one of them.  We watched my stomach get hard and soft, over and over again about every 15 minutes over the course of the evening, it wasn't really painful just weird and since I wasn't due for 3 weeks No-one-but-me-seemed-to-be-worried-at-all, at this point my lovely husband got out the trusty What to Expect When Your Expecting book and looked up braxton hicks and informed me that's what I was experiencing.  I didn't rest well Saturday night I kept having to pee all night, I had no idea at the time that this was a sign of labor maybe because I was steady drinking 14 glasses of water a day and spending all my free time in the bathroom.
We woke up on Sunday morning and our family was getting ready to go home.  We had a nice breakfast with them, well they had a nice breakfast I had one piece of toast dry with a slice of cheese and 1/2 a peach (1 meat, and 1 1/2 carb, no fat) and they left for home.  Daddy and I got dressed for church.  I can remember singing Better is One Day and my stomach started up again, hard soft hard soft...  I let a few friends in on the hardening of the stomach and they were like LABOR GIRL, LABOR!  And then it stopped.  I was just starting to get really excited and then no more braxton hicks or anything, Luke would kick and wiggle but no hard belly.  We went to our small group that night and my blood sugar was up again so I had to take a brisk walk and wouldn't you know it that hard belly came back.  We were the only couple in the group who didn't have children so the mother hens in our group really felt like I was in labor.  Daddy was like PISSHH she isn't due for 3 weeks.  I promised them that if it continued I would call the doctor.  At around 4 am I woke up and then woke Daddy up it was now hard as a rock and kind of pinchy feeling he said "you are not due for 3 weeks"  I tried and tried to sleep...  we got up at about 6am and I told him listen, this is propably braxton hicks but what if it is the real thing? But I'm not in pain so why don't you go on and go to work... At that point I got a little freaky and yes I actually sent him on to work, because I-wasn't-due-for-3-weeks- and-labor-might-hurt-and-I-have-wanted-to-be-a-mommy-for-like-my-whole-life-but-I-don't- think-I-want-to-do-this-today-thank-you-so-very-much-I-might-be-panicking!
Around the time that Daddy went to work my best friend Susan called to see how our weekend went and if our family had gotten home safely and I carried on small talk with her for about 10 minutes when she asked me if I had packed my bag for the hospital yet?!  I told her NO I'm not due for 3 weeks, but by the way I have been having this stomach tightening thing all weekend and I think it's starting to feel a little pinchy, at that point she yells how close are these pinchy CONTRACTIONS I said I don't know, I will count and call you back, she said no you don't, we will count together right now!  So come to find out these little pinchy contractions were now coming every 5 minutes.  Susan then reminds me (Susan was pregnant with her second now so she was much more in tune than I) at your last apt. you where already 2 centimeters dilated!  So I then called the after hours answering service (it's only 7:30am) and had a doctor paged to get a real medical opinion, because I have sent my husband to work, Regan and other family have gone, Susan is like you are so in labor girlfriend and I am feeling such denial!  
I fill the girl on the other end in on all the details and hang up to wait for the doctor to call.  In less than 3 minutes she calls back and tells me to come strait to the hospital and she reminds me not to drive myself!  I guess some woman drive themselves, are these the same woman who don't realize they are in labor or the same woman who don't pack their bags until the day they go to the hospital? I called Susan back and told her they want me to come to the hospital, what should I do?  She says I am coming to get you, and PACK YOUR BAG!!  I called Daddy and told him what the Doctor said and told him that I was going to have Susan take me to the hospital and I would call him and let him know if I was really going to have a Luke because I am sure that this could be a false alarm!  So don't leave work or anything.  (I was obviously out of my mind)  I arrived at the hospital at about 9am and found that I was in fact having steady contractions and that I was 80% effaced and 3-4 centimeters.  The nurses tell me that I have to be over a 5 to keep me so I should take a walk.  Susan and I walk and walk and walk.  At noon the nurses check me and I am say I am a 4-5 to keep walking.  I walked and walked and walked, at around 2pm I rounded a corner and I saw Daddy standing at the desk asking about me, I can't tell you how happy I was that he came right when he did!  I guess he couldn't work wondering if I was ok, wondering if in fact we were going to have our first child and he came to be with me!  I was starting to hurt now, and by 3pm the Doctor checked me and said she's a five admit her!  So that was it we were going to have a baby!  I was in a great mood, I had my best friends with me, I was gonna be a mommy!  At about 7pm nothing had changed I was sitting in a bed, and nothing was changing I was stuck at a 5 and it almost seemed like everything was stopping.  
The Doctor on call at this point was Dr. Via he was in his early 60's and he really liked to deliver babies!  I guess if your labor stops and they have already admitted you they make it happen!  Dr. Via came in and gave me pitocin, and that started things up again, at about 8pm he broke my water and then it was not so pinchy now it was stabby!  I called for an epidural.  I became very tired after the epidural had taken the edge off and rested for about an hour.   
I remember the lights being dim and hearing Daddy and Wayne (his best friend and Susan's husband) and Susan talking quietly while I tried to rest and then I noticed Wayne kept checking the monitor and then he said something to Daddy and Wayne rushed into the hall, I was a little freaked out, like why is he running...  Luke's heart had dropped really low, the nurses rushed in and laid me on my side and gave me oxygen, it helped.  They checked me and said you are a 10 time to push.  And push I did, for 45 minutes!  I remember on the last 3 pushes I asked Dr. Via how long is this going to take?  He said it could take hours or you could push like you mean it and we could have this baby!
Three pushes later at 11:31pm on August 20th 2001, our baby boy was born. (this was Daddy's fathers birthday, I'm sure he would have been proud to share his birthday with his grandson) He had the cord wrapped around his neck, which was causing his heart to dip down with each contraction because his oxygen was being cut off.  They laid his little slimy body on my chest and I kissed him, he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen!  I had often wondered what will I do when they hand him to me, will I wipe him off, will I kiss, him will I cry...  (I had been watching 2 years of a baby story mind you)  I did all of the above.  I looked up at Daddy who had tears streaming down his face and said we are parents.  I remember just saying thank you God Thank you over and over!  Susan and Wayne were both with us for our happiest day.  Susan on one side of me and Daddy on the other and Wayne stationed at the top of the bed with the video camera.
Luke weighed 7 pounds and 2 ounces and was 21 1/2 inches long.  (three weeks early)
With in 30 minutes I was able to nurse him and he latched on the first time, I stayed up most of the night just looking at him, and Thanking God for the best day of my life, finally free of the fears that have almost crippled me for nine months and finally a mommy.

6 comments:

bunchofbull-ers! said...

Okay, I'm supposed to making dinner here and you go throw a birth story at me!!! I LOVE birth stories...weird?!! Anyway, thanks for the great read. And choking me up at the end. Just like The Baby Story on TLC....crying through the second half of each show!! ;O)
BTW...I read Jenni's blog also. Did you find it from PW? Just curious.

Blessings.

Kelly

Happy Mommy said...

Kelly, I am supposed to be making dinner too! I think it was, PW. I just love Jenni and PW! Jenni's stories of birth have just moved me to tears about every day last week! And recounting Luke's birth had me all choked up, I had to go and love that boy up.
He said why are you calling me Luke? (that's not his real name) I explained for our protection. He then asked what do you call yourself. I told him Happy Mommy he laughed almost uncontrollably and said sometimes you are Mean-Crazy-Mommy why don't you call yourself that? I didn't laugh nearly as hard as he did....

bunchofbull-ers! said...

That is FUNNY! I'm certain that my kids would say the same thing. Or maybe like freak-out, OCD, anxious mommy?!! Oh well, who do they come to when they need an ouchie kissed, right?! AND who is letting their chicks live in the tub?!
Yes, I have PW & Jenni in my FAVs... right under you, of course! ;O)
I was going through the birth/baby photos of Muffin #5 yesterday & boy was I missing that baby phase. SO sweet. Makes me crazy for another! Ugh.

We are THAT Family said...

That was so sweet. I loved reading your story. We, too, went thru 2 years of infertility-that's a very hard road. What a blessing and testimony you have now!

minnesotamom said...

What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing something so special and intimate. I think I might have to do mine (I only have one thus far) one of these days.

Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday!

Jenni said...

What a wonderful story! And what a lot you went through!

7lbs2oz is darn good for being 3 weeks early...I'm so glad you wrote the story down; how special these blessings are!

"mean-crazy-mommy"; now THAT cracked me up!! I'm sure my kids would describe me that way plenty of times too...

They know how to keep us humble, don't they?