Friday, April 25, 2008

First Kiss

I was thinking today about my first kiss.  I was one of those girls who played with baby dolls until I was 12 shoot maybe even 13 and then boom, over night I liked boys!  So literally from barbies to boys.  I was always a chubby girl and then the summer of 6th grade I grew a few inches thinned out and started wearing mascara.  And started to be noticed too.
I had a friend her name was Janelle and she had a sister Hawley, their mom and dad where gone all the time, so much freedom at their house, I tried to be there as much as I could!  So while with Janelle and her big sister I met a boy his name was Joe Collie, he was always in trouble at school but the girls were just crazy about him.  He was one of those guys who always was with a popular girl which as I stated I was just playing with babies months previous, I was not his type, at all!
But for some reason he paid a lot of attention to me, which I loved, he would try and corner me and I would always find a way out of the kiss, see I was 14 and had never kissed a boy, I had never even held a boys hand.  I was what you would call frigid, scared to death.
Looking back I wish I would have said something to one of my more mature friends but for fear of being labeled frigid, which I definitely was, I said nothing.
I will remember the day forever, he gave me a note it said I want to be your boyfriend, but you have to kiss me, yes or no?  Do you all remember those notes?
I said yes, and to meet me at Janelle and Hawley's tonight I will kiss you there.  Well no way out now, I tried to recall every movie and soap opera I had ever seen, how hard can it be just move your tongue really fast, right...
So he comes over and we are talking all the while he keeps scooting closer and closer and then he leans in.  First I forget to close my eyes so I see the whole awful thing take place.  Second I never knew you must swallow the spit in your mouth.  Third I wiggled my tongue violently around that poor boys mouth like a snake in a bag, it was bad people, really bad.  
He later asked my friend if I had ever kissed a boy before and informed her I really needed to slow down,  I acted very offended and said all the many boys I had been kissing really liked it like that and that he must need more practice!
I guess you figured out that Joe Collie never called me again, no more yes or no notes for me and my fast tongue.
I never have a hard time laughing at myself and I just thought you all might need a laugh today so there you go!

7 comments:

MoziEsmé said...

Hillarious! Reminds me of my first kiss - though it couldn't have been too terrible as I ended up marrying the guy!

We are THAT Family said...

Oh, girl! We are sisters from another mister! I'm laughing because you just described my first kiss. Seriously. The boy asked my cousin (who introduced the whole sordid affair) if it was my first kiss. I acted like it wasn't. Thanks for the blast from the past!

Becky said...

That sounds like the average kissing life of most girls that age...I remember practicing on a stuffed animal until it was wet (eeewww) and when it actually happened...I kissed tight lipped and got tongue thrashed.

Then when I really kissed my homecoming date in highschool I felt like EVERYONE in the room must have seen the whole thing and I was going to get a reputation.

Oh, those days.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

Gotta go check my daughters room for wet stuffed animals.

bunchofbull-ers! said...

Ha ha! Too funny! Thank God I can not remember my first. Though if I think hard enough I probably could, but I'm sure it wouldn't be worth all the work! ;O)

Happy Saturday to the Happy Family!

ruby wife said...

You didn't mention whether your kissing skills have improved. For Happy Daddy's face's sake I hope so!! I know he's all country and loves snakes but I don't know anyone who would like one in their mouth!! Ha-Ha! Just kidding, Love you Girl!

Happy Mommy said...

Ruby Wife~ I got skills now! Happy Daddy's happy for a reason!

Claral said...

Great work.