Daisy

Luke was 3 and Bo just 15 months old when I really started wanting more kids...  It was on our ninth anniversary 10/29/04 that Daddy and I sat down with a good bottle of champagne and discussed our past our present and our future.  I let him know I really wanted a daughter and he let me know he really wanted to wait,  we went to bed that night agreeing that it is hard having really little ones and putting an extra year in between wouldn't hurt.  On November 6 just a little over a week after our long talk I found out that you really should consult God on Your Big Plan because I was already pregnant.  I was happy, Daddy was not convinced, I took 3 tests and he said Ok, not our plan but it will be ok.

Of course as the next few weeks unfolded we both became even happier about our baby growing inside of me and the possibility for a daughter.  I had been praying for a daughter since right after Bo was born, don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart but I wanted to have sons and a daughter.

I had lost so much weight before I became pregnant with Daisy, I was worried about weight gain with her which was my only worry.  Until January, Dana and Joe got married, I was the Matron of Honor and I had to fit into my dress so with all the weight loss I was in a size 8, well on baby number 3 I think I was showing by week 6.  I had to get this whole body, booster which was so tight I felt sick.  I almost didn't even look pregnant with all the under garments...

The next day Joe' s best friend had a brunch in honor of the newlyweds and everyone was shocked at my stomach, I was evidently pregnant!

I started feeling Daisy kick very early like around 16 weeks and she never kicked as much as the boys, it felt different.

Around this time I had a dream I was holding a baby girl in a large stadium and I held her up and told all the people here is my daughter **** (her real name, which is also a biblical name).  I loved the name Madison and I was sure I was going to name my daughter Madison so when I woke up from this dream I was like no her name will not be ***** it will be Madison.  I dreamed this same dream again, and I talked to Daddy about it and we decided if God was going to bless us with a daughter we would name her what he was telling me.

We went for our ultrasound at 20 weeks and we found out we were indeed having a little girl I cried and cried!

My pregnancy with Daisy was really relaxed except that my hated and I say HATED with a passion my OB.  At one of the first visits a child was crying one room over and the actually said "I can't believe they bring that brat here, I thanked God they didn't bring him into the delivery room"  I was so shocked!  I just sat there with a paper gown on mouth open wide staring at him.  A few weeks later I receive a letter in the mail that said No children are allowed at the OB office.  If you come with your children over 6 weeks we will reschedule your appointment.

At 26 weeks we took the glucose tolerance test.  I remember well that my number was 139 and I  was diabetic because for gestational diabetes you must be under 120, but not here in po-dunk...  I was really distraught they kept telling me that I was not diabetic but my time at the diabetic institute taught me totally different.   So needless to say I had absolutely no faith in my Doctors and was fearful for our daughter.  I watched what I ate and tried to follow a point system and prayed alot.

At 38 weeks My Aunt came to visit, because I was really over being pregnant, it was hot, it was July and I wanted to be done!  I had never been pregnant this long before, and to this day I swear 40 weeks is overrated!  I was just so tired.  I even went to CVS and bought a bottle of Castor Oil, but I never used it.  I begged the Doctor to induce me but she wouldn't. Dana came just in time, the next day Bo who was almost 2 started throwing up, I then started praying please don't let me go into labor.  Funny I remember thinking how God always knows better than we do!  

At two days before my due date I had an appointment and the Doctor said that I was measuring a little on the big side so she said she would induce me the next day, I had been begging for so long...  

Happy Daddy, Dana and I dropped the boys off at a friends house and headed to the hospital we arrived at 9am on July 11, I was dilated to a 2 at admittance.  The Doctor on call was actually a mid wife.  She was very kind and said that she had orders from the Doctor who I didn't like to give me some kind of gel that could maybe make me go into labor.  I laid there all day it was really 5 hours of nothing and boy was I getting hungry!  Finally at 3 I begged (I begged alot in  my pregnancy with Daisy) for her to just break my water, see with the boys once they broke my water we were able to get down to business.

She broke my water at 4:30pm and gave me pitocin, I started having really strong contractions right away.  But with only one anesthesiologist on staff, I had to wait, and wait and wait.  I remember Daddy reminding me to breath, I'm not a yeller I just hold my breath.  Finally at 5:45 I received the epidural and could rest for a few minutes and then they told me to push...

I didn't feel well, very sleepy and funny.  But 2 pushes and our beautiful baby girl was born.  The mid wife allowed HD to deliver her, she stood beside him and told him what to do, he rotated her and helped ease her out on the second push, it was amazing for him to be able to deliver her like that!  I held her right away, and then Daddy and Aunt Dana, at some point I kept telling my husband I can't keep my eyes open, he said just rest, and with everyone paying attention to the baby, no one was listening, I got louder NO SOMETHING IS WRONG!  The nurse came over to me, at that point I got sick every where, and my blood pressure dropped so low they slammed the bed down and gave me a shot of epinephrine.  I started feeling better right away, I found out later that this can happen to woman with the kind of epidural that I received.  

I was able to hold our beautiful girl with a head full of black hair and nurse her right away.  About 2 hours after her birth they checked her blood sugar level and told me she need formula, (so all my fears about gestational diabetes was accurate) I have never done anything but nurse and I had been through this before with Luke, and I insisted that they attach a tube to my breast so that she could nurse and still receive small amounts of formula to raise her blood sugar level, the nurse left the room and came back with another nurse who said that I really need to think of my babies best interest and stop arguing with the staff....  WHAT!  I am totally thinking of my babies best interest, I don't want her to get confused, we don't even own one bottle, she will be nursing and what in the world is the problem with my request!  I guess, no one in this small town had ever asked for such a thing and being that Luke and Bo were born is a large city they received more state of the art technology, you know like a small tube.  Ultimately I won and they found a tube (its called pinkie feeding) and Daisy did fine with that.

Her blood sugar level came up just fine but then she started gagging, she choked several times and we had to clear her out with the nasal aspirator, she then started turning a funny shade of red not pink our girl was RED!  The nurse noticed that she was sighing, I thought how cute listen to her she is talking like her mama already, but was quickly informed that no she was having breathing difficulty.  They need to take her to the nursery for a better look, let me just confess right now, I have cast a whole lot of judgement on this issue and I have stated before that ever single judgment I have cast especially as a parent comes right back on me!  I have in the PAST been under the impression that it was lazy to seed the baby to the nursery, I wait 9 months to see this baby and no one but me is going to take care of her!  And now I was left with no choice she was having breathing difficulties.  I cried and cried and cried some more, I instantly realised that some of those babies at the nurses station the ones whom I had judged their mama, need to be their, I asked God please don't try and teach me anything here Lord, I am tired and I love that little girl enough to die right now for her, please let her breath ok and come back here to me quick!

After several hours Daisy perked up.  I was able to be with her and Dana brought our boys to meet their new sister, Luke was in love he is one of those kids who just loves babies and still does,  Bo was more interested in the hospital equipment than the baby but he gave her a little kiss and off they went to play with Aunt Dana.

We came home on a Wednesday, my best friend Susan was here waiting she had come up and watched the boys all day so that Dana could go to an appointment with Joe.  Susan is one of those friends who you can hand your kids to and go lay down and that's just what I did!

Our sweet girl still was red!  We found out at around 8 months that our girl who by now had already had 7 ear infections needing antibiotics was severely allergic to milk (that's why she was having breathing difficulties after the formula)  I will have to write a whole post one day about how she went into anaphylactic shock after eating peanut butter.  She had tubes put in her ears at around 7 months.  And she had also was tongue tied she had to have that little skin under her tongue cut.  So our girl had a rocky start, but I assure you it has not held her back one bit!  She is our princess and she loves to sing and dance!  She loves Jesus and prays for everyone we know (literally) each night,  she is such a blessing our whole family!

Bo

In the summer of 2002, with our beautiful baby, Luke, we traveled to Ohio for 3 months while Daddy did projects all around the area.  We stayed with my Grandparents for the whole time.

While we were in Ohio we decided to visit Daddy's aunt Beth, she lived in Chicago.  So off to the big city we went.  Beth had a 13 month old son and Luke was 10 months, so we had a great time.  Beth was like a mentor to me, she was a mother of 4 a stay home wife a home school teacher an avid breast feeder, everything I wanted to be.  When Beth started asking us about if we wanted any more children, I was simply overwhelmed, not because things were hard with Luke but I truly felt like he was our gift and that was it,door closed story over.  The Doctor had told me to be very happy that I had never experienced the loss so many other woman feel with PCOS and to enjoy my son, he was probably the only one we could have...

So I tearfully explained to Beth that I don't think we can have more, I don't want to lose a baby and God did give us one.  Beth just would not hear any of it!  She said "Honey, Satan is lying to you, not only will God give you your hearts desires he will and can heal you, he died on the cross to free you from your sins and to heal you".  Now this was a new concept God heal me, I had never really prayed for healing, see PCOS is treatable not curable.  

We went to church with Beth on Wednesday night, Wednesday night is a prayer service, at the end of the service I went up and I asked for prayer for healing, a group of people came around me and all prayed for healing for my body.  It was very different from the Contemporary Baptist church I went to that's for sure!  The church was filled with at least 400-500 people large church.  At the very end we wanted to shake hands with the pastor and tell him thank you for a lovely message.  As I approached him he took my hand and my husbands and instantly said, can I pray for you, now let me tell you I was feeling a bit uncomfortable, I had never met him and this whole very charismatic thing was new for me, I don't know much about prophecy and have never been a part of anything like this but we said sure, not knowing what to expect...

At that moment he said God wants you to know he is going to heal your womb and you will have children.  I instantly saw a silhouette of 4 children, the tears came with out warning and uncontrollable for Daddy and I.  He went on to tell Daddy you will be used in a mighty way and many more things, and many more wonderful, God inspired things.

It was very euphoric, and for the first time other than when I excepted Christ as my Savior, I had true faith.  Faith like none other, faith that the God of all creation could choose in his infinite wisdom to heal me and give me children, make me a mother of many...  I believed God was going to heal me.  I believed we were going to have children.  I had Faith.

The third week of July, I started my period.  I had never in my life had a real period with out medically inducing one.  I knew, I am well, God is healing me.   October of 2002 we started the Purpose driven Life with our small group at church.  During this study God spoke to us both and we knew it was time to have another child and time to share our story.  We told our small group about the service at Beth's church back in July, we shared our new faith that God had healed me and we told them we were trying to have a baby.  Our group just gathered around us and prayed right then for God to bless us with another child!

I found out I was pregnant on Nov. 22, 2002.  It was 6:20 in the morning and unlike all the other times I had taken pregnancy tests this time I just knew!  Daddy and Luke were laying in our bed while I went into the bathroom and took the test, I came out of the bathroom and I don't think I could even speak for a minute which is a very unlikely event around here I rarely shutup...  I looked at Daddy and said I'm pregnant, God healed me!  We laid in our bed holding our sweet boy and we prayed and thanked God!  The next week we had a Dinner at church and shared what was happening in our life after reading the Purpose Driven Life, I was asked to speak, I was able to stand up in front of our church and tell them my purpose was to be a wife and mother, that I been given the gift of healing and that I indeed was pregnant.  I will never forget the gasps I said those words and people clapping!  I was making this Gods story not my story which made it so much more special!

Now my pregnancy with Bo was very different from my pregnancy with Luke, I wasn't scared, I was healed, happy and healthy.  I had no irrational fears, I had peace.  I enjoyed all the tiredness and napped with Luke everyday.

I had an unquenchable desire for broccoli and corndogs with mayo, nasty I know!

At 15 weeks I started feeling him kicking and rolling, that's one of my favorite parts!  At 17 weeks Daddy felt Bo kick.  At 19 weeks my Mother and Grandmother came for a visit, we wanted them to come for the ultrasound.  We found out at 20 weeks that we were having another boy.  We couldn't have been happier!  Being an only child I really wanted Luke to have a best friend!  Daddy is the oldest of 4 and he and his younger brother are very close and so I wanted that for Luke, we were so excited!

At 6 months pregnant we decided to move, you know the logical thing to do being 6 months pregnant, put your house on the market and have to keep it vacuumed upstairs and down each and every single day not to mention all the other things that must remain spotless all the while chasing a 20 month old toddler around...

We wanted to move to the next town over to be closer to our church, we were both in youth ministry and we were going to be part of a church plant.  Our house sold and we found another house we were scheduled to move into our house July 27, my due date was July 28th.  Just a little pressure.  

I again was gestational diabetic, so at  37 weeks and 6 days we had an ultrasound to see how big our boy was measuring.  I had been dilated to a 3 from 36 weeks and at this visit I was a 4, my hips were really hurting and I was just a little over being pregnant!  I think packing and walking everyday didn't help much!  So at the ultrasound Bo looked to be over 8 pounds.  The Doctor said lets have a baby tomorrow!  TOMORROW!

We had everything planed for my Aunt Dana to fly to our house to be at the birth and to stay with Luke, so when I called and said "Tomorrow" it was crazy!  She was working in New York City at the time, Dana is a Travel Agent, not a magician but she pulled some strings did a magic dance, waved her hands in the air and made it happen!  We arranged for my best friend Susan's mom to watch Luke so Daddy, Dana and Susan could be with me while I gave birth.  

I was admitted into the hospital at around 9am.  We established that I was not having contractions so they gave me pitocin and with in an hour, I started having some real good ones.  At 11:30 Dana, got there, I was go glad to see her, she had never seen a baby be born before and this was really important to me and to her!  When Luke was born Dana had just moved to NY and our relationship was strained due to our miles apart.  I was a first time freaked out Mom and I asked her not to come...  I know I broke Dana's heart, she wanted to witness Luke's birth, but in my clear mind and all, I didn't want house guests, I wanted only Daddy and I to BOND with our baby so I asked her to come see him later.  Anyway, Dana being at Bo's birth was more than important for me, I needed her to be there, she is my best friend and I was so sorry she missed our first child, all forgiven for the past she couldn't wait to be with us for the birth of our second child.

So right about the time she got to the hospital, I started hurting, really hurting.  Now I am not a screamer, or a groaner, not that that isn't a great way to handle pain, what ever works while giving birth is fine by me.  I am loud all the other time, but surprisingly while in extreme pain, I bury my head in daddy's chest and have to be reminded to breath!  At that point with the pain, I called for an epidural.  I got the epidural and I felt like a new woman, for about 10 minutes that is.  Suddenly and Urgently I needed to push, I really needed to push, a feeling I never felt this with Luke, they told me to push with him, I felt it with Bo.

I told the nurse I need to push she checked me and said the baby is crowning, and she then told me the most shocking thing my ears have ever heard, that woman told me the doctor was delivering an other baby and I needed to close my legs, I must wait.  WHAT @#$%#%*#%*#*$  I was not having that, I need to push, She CLOSED MY LEGS...  This is really not a nice thing to do to a woman who has a basket ball coming out of her!

I told my sweet husband to go to the end of the table, the nurse was yelling for the Doctor, She kept trying to explain that the hospital doesn't like for nurses to deliver babies it's a lot of paper work.  All I hear is lalala la lalala the Doctor won't get paid if I do this keep you legs closed lalala la lalala!  I again said go to the end of the table, My sweet husband was still acting hearing impaired he is not hearing me, I get louder, I Need To Have This BABY, GO TO THE END OF THE TABLE!  At that moment the Doctor slides in and he has the nerve to stop an put shoe covers on, I said some thing  nice like   whocaresaboutyourstupidshoesI'llbuyyounewonesjustgetoverhere!

I roll on to my back push one, his head comes out push two, the rest of him comes out!  He was laid on my chest, I kissed him and hugged him, he cried instantly which is such a wonderful sound to a new mothers ears!

It was very different with Bo, the birthing team was taking care of the other woman who had just given birth, and we got to hold him longer and, Daddy got to help clean him up, I liked this better, with no birthing team we felt more in control.

Bo weighed 7 pounds 10 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long.  He came in to the world on July 16th, 2003 at 1:15pm on a Wednesday.  Just like his big brother he was a great nurser, and he was nursing with in 15 minutes of being born, probably because the birth team was busy and we got to do it our way!  It was a wonderful birth, except for the fact the nurse tried to stop me.

Dana was the first to notice that Bo just like his big brother and his Mama has a dimple in his chin.  I will never forget the look on Daddy's face, he was so happy, and Dana was crying right along with us, witnessing birth is such a miracle, a gift...

Luke

I have become quite enthralled in Jenni's at One Things birth story's so I have decided to write mine.  

It all started in 2000 with 2 years of infertility under us.  We tried to get pregnant with Luke for about a year without ever going to the doctor and after my best friend Susan got pregnant, I started to worry.  I was at the hospital when Susan gave birth to her first daughter and got to meet a new doctor named Dr. Wentworth, he was really young and almost Doogie Houser'ish.

I found out that Dr. Wentworth was an infertility specialist at the practice and I felt like I had hit the jack pot.  I started to see him in August of 2000.  We did lots of tests and found out that I had  PCOS or poly cystic ovarian syndrome, sounds bad doesn't it?  Well it is... Long story short we took temperatures, didn't work, we made charts, didn't work, and then we took clomid it did the trick!  I found out on December 29th that I was pregnant!

I can remember everything, we had traveled home for Christmas and were at my brother and sister in laws house, they had one child at the time my nephew, Ryley.  Ryley was just a little over 10 months.  I had just pee peed on a stick and my husband came into the bathroom with Ryley on his hip while we watched the line lightly creep up!  I was so happy I jumped up and down and cried and kissed that sweet little babies fat cheeks, he clapped his hands not quite understanding why we were so happy but feeling a celebration was in order he just clapped.  I took Ryley into my arms and just hugged and hugged him, thinking I get to be a mommy, too!

I am an only child so this was really big for my whole family, I gave my mother a jewelry box with our pregnancy test in it and we cried together knowing all our dreams were coming true.

I wish I could lie and say it was an easy pregnancy, it was not.  I was riddled with complete fear from that day until the day I held him in my arms.  Every morbid fear a pregnant woman could and shouldn't have I had.  I guess it didn't help that at our first appointment our Doctor whom I really do love and forgive for being brutally honest with me, told us that 50-90% of PCOS patients have multiple miscarriages and that at 4 weeks I had a long road ahead of me and need to keep an open mind and be very happy that now we know I could get pregnant.  This was far from good news to me.  I didn't just want to get pregnant I wanted to be a mommy.  I remember rebuking everything he had said and praying constantly reminding God daily that he says he will give us our hearts desires.  Poor Daddy didn't know how to handle pregnancy hormones.  He was so nervous to "be with me, in a marital way" it was hard on both of us.  I think that sweet Doctor was again to blame at one of our exams he told my husband the baby is right here, totally freaking Daddy out!

Being so scared of losing my baby I read everything I could get my hands on, I read articles that said I shouldn't lift anything over 15 pounds so I didn't lift anything over 5.  I read that the chemicals in nail polish could harm my baby so I didn't paint my nails.  I read that herbal tea might be bad for you so I confined myself to clear liquids just in case.  I read that it was important to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day so I drank at least 14 glasses of water a day to help my amniotic fluids in turn I spent most of my pregnancy in the bathroom.

At 20 weeks we went for our ultrasound.  I had spent the last 2 years of my life praying for Luke to be Luke, I prayed for him each and everyday by name, begging and pleading with God to give me a son.  So I was real sure he was a he!  When the ultrasound tech said "It's a Boy"  Daddy jumped up and down throwing his fist in the air and saying YES, YES, YES.  You would have thought the Cowboys just won the Superbowl!  I later asked what would you have done if it was a girl and he said Oh I would have been happy.  After that performance I don't think I believed him!

At 26 weeks I found out that I was gestational diabetic.  Again I received way to much information, resulting in horrible fears.  I can remember going into his nursery and rocking in his rocking chair in the middle of the night, holding a baby blanket that was mine as a baby and just pouring my soul out to the Lord, begging again for him to give us this baby, allow him to be healthy, let me be a Mother... This took place often over the weeks to come.  I went to the Diabetic institute and found some relief, I had to take my blood sugars 6 times a day and follow a very strict diet.  I found this to be very easy.  The hardest part was following a strict time for eating, see you can't miss a meal and you have to eat at the same time every day every time.

I worked part time as the assistant to the owner of a travel agency until June.  In the first week of June we had Daddy's little sister Regan come and visit us for 10 weeks.  She was 12 at the time, we had always had Regan come and visit us in the summer so this was no different.  We spent the summer laying in a blow up pool trying to beat the heat, we would fill and let water out and fill with cold water all day long.  I was almost black by the time she went home.  It was wonderful having her with us she brushed my hair daily and (I had told the doctor about the no nail painting thing and he laughed and told me paint away)Regan painted my toes, that sweet girl even helped me shave my legs. She helped me keep a schedule of eating times and was a lot of company in those last few long weeks, with Daddy traveling for his job as a computer project coordinator, he was gone 4 or 5 days a week and don't think I could have standed being alone.  About two weeks before Regan went home Daddy started a project at a Lowes just 5 miles from home and we had a normal 8-4 work schedule.  

Regan went home one week and my brother in-law Zack and Sister in-law Jess and Ryley and my mother in-law, came the next for a 5 day visit.  We had a nice time going to the beach and relaxing until Friday it was August the 17th.  My blood sugar was acting up and my back hurt.  The whole family went to the beach and I stayed home and rested.   I really was feeling better so the next night we went out to eat at a fresh seafood restaurant.  I will never forget when we got home and I got out of the car, SIL Jess looked at me and said Whats Wrong???  I said my stomach is so hard!  It just keeps knotting up like.  She said that's contractions!  It was time for me to take my blood sugar and it was a little high so I had to walk, when you are diabetic a few things help your blood sugar come down lots of water and a brisk walk, a few things can start labor and a brisk walk is one of them.  We watched my stomach get hard and soft, over and over again about every 15 minutes over the course of the evening, it wasn't really painful just weird and since I wasn't due for 3 weeks No-one-but-me-seemed-to-be-worried-at-all, at this point my lovely husband got out the trusty What to Expect When Your Expecting book and looked up braxton hicks and informed me that's what I was experiencing.  I didn't rest well Saturday night I kept having to pee all night, I had no idea at the time that this was a sign of labor maybe because I was steady drinking 14 glasses of water a day and spending all my free time in the bathroom.

We woke up on Sunday morning and our family was getting ready to go home.  We had a nice breakfast with them, well they had a nice breakfast I had one piece of toast dry with a slice of cheese and 1/2 a peach (1 meat, and 1 1/2 carb, no fat) and they left for home.  Daddy and I got dressed for church.  I can remember singing Better is One Day and my stomach started up again, hard soft hard soft...  I let a few friends in on the hardening of the stomach and they were like LABOR GIRL, LABOR!  And then it stopped.  I was just starting to get really excited and then no more braxton hicks or anything, Luke would kick and wiggle but no hard belly.  We went to our small group that night and my blood sugar was up again so I had to take a brisk walk and wouldn't you know it that hard belly came back.  We were the only couple in the group who didn't have children so the mother hens in our group really felt like I was in labor.  Daddy was like PISSHH she isn't due for 3 weeks.  I promised them that if it continued I would call the doctor.  At around 4 am I woke up and then woke Daddy up it was now hard as a rock and kind of pinchy feeling he said "you are not due for 3 weeks"  I tried and tried to sleep...  we got up at about 6am and I told him listen, this is propably braxton hicks but what if it is the real thing? But I'm not in pain so why don't you go on and go to work... At that point I got a little freaky and yes I actually sent him on to work, because I-wasn't-due-for-3-weeks- and-labor-might-hurt-and-I-have-wanted-to-be-a-mommy-for-like-my-whole-life-but-I-don't- think-I-want-to-do-this-today-thank-you-so-very-much-I-might-be-panicking!

Around the time that Daddy went to work my best friend Susan called to see how our weekend went and if our family had gotten home safely and I carried on small talk with her for about 10 minutes when she asked me if I had packed my bag for the hospital yet?!  I told her NO I'm not due for 3 weeks, but by the way I have been having this stomach tightening thing all weekend and I think it's starting to feel a little pinchy, at that point she yells how close are these pinchy CONTRACTIONS I said I don't know, I will count and call you back, she said no you don't, we will count together right now!  So come to find out these little pinchy contractions were now coming every 5 minutes.  Susan then reminds me (Susan was pregnant with her second now so she was much more in tune than I) at your last apt. you where already 2 centimeters dilated!  So I then called the after hours answering service (it's only 7:30am) and had a doctor paged to get a real medical opinion, because I have sent my husband to work, Regan and other family have gone, Susan is like you are so in labor girlfriend and I am feeling such denial!  

I fill the girl on the other end in on all the details and hang up to wait for the doctor to call.  In less than 3 minutes she calls back and tells me to come strait to the hospital and she reminds me not to drive myself!  I guess some woman drive themselves, are these the same woman who don't realize they are in labor or the same woman who don't pack their bags until the day they go to the hospital? I called Susan back and told her they want me to come to the hospital, what should I do?  She says I am coming to get you, and PACK YOUR BAG!!  I called Daddy and told him what the Doctor said and told him that I was going to have Susan take me to the hospital and I would call him and let him know if I was really going to have a Luke because I am sure that this could be a false alarm!  So don't leave work or anything.  (I was obviously out of my mind)  I arrived at the hospital at about 9am and found that I was in fact having steady contractions and that I was 80% effaced and 3-4 centimeters.  The nurses tell me that I have to be over a 5 to keep me so I should take a walk.  Susan and I walk and walk and walk.  At noon the nurses check me and I am say I am a 4-5 to keep walking.  I walked and walked and walked, at around 2pm I rounded a corner and I saw Daddy standing at the desk asking about me, I can't tell you how happy I was that he came right when he did!  I guess he couldn't work wondering if I was ok, wondering if in fact we were going to have our first child and he came to be with me!  I was starting to hurt now, and by 3pm the Doctor checked me and said she's a five admit her!  So that was it we were going to have a baby!  I was in a great mood, I had my best friends with me, I was gonna be a mommy!  At about 7pm nothing had changed I was sitting in a bed, and nothing was changing I was stuck at a 5 and it almost seemed like everything was stopping.  

The Doctor on call at this point was Dr. Via he was in his early 60's and he really liked to deliver babies!  I guess if your labor stops and they have already admitted you they make it happen!  Dr. Via came in and gave me pitocin, and that started things up again, at about 8pm he broke my water and then it was not so pinchy now it was stabby!  I called for an epidural.  I became very tired after the epidural had taken the edge off and rested for about an hour.   

I remember the lights being dim and hearing Daddy and Wayne (his best friend and Susan's husband) and Susan talking quietly while I tried to rest and then I noticed Wayne kept checking the monitor and then he said something to Daddy and Wayne rushed into the hall, I was a little freaked out, like why is he running...  Luke's heart had dropped really low, the nurses rushed in and laid me on my side and gave me oxygen, it helped.  They checked me and said you are a 10 time to push.  And push I did, for 45 minutes!  I remember on the last 3 pushes I asked Dr. Via how long is this going to take?  He said it could take hours or you could push like you mean it and we could have this baby!

Three pushes later at 11:31pm on August 20th 2001, our baby boy was born. (this was Daddy's fathers birthday, I'm sure he would have been proud to share his birthday with his grandson) He had the cord wrapped around his neck, which was causing his heart to dip down with each contraction because his oxygen was being cut off.  They laid his little slimy body on my chest and I kissed him, he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen!  I had often wondered what will I do when they hand him to me, will I wipe him off, will I kiss, him will I cry...  (I had been watching 2 years of a baby story mind you)  I did all of the above.  I looked up at Daddy who had tears streaming down his face and said we are parents.  I remember just saying thank you God Thank you over and over!  Susan and Wayne were both with us for our happiest day.  Susan on one side of me and Daddy on the other and Wayne stationed at the top of the bed with the video camera.

Luke weighed 7 pounds and 2 ounces and was 21 1/2 inches long.  (three weeks early)

With in 30 minutes I was able to nurse him and he latched on the first time, I stayed up most of the night just looking at him, and Thanking God for the best day of my life, finally free of the fears that have almost crippled me for nine months and finally a mommy.